The Devil We Know: Stories from the #PresPoll

As the elections approach, shit gets real. Here’s some of it: 

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dogs head 2Severed dogs’ heads are delivered to the houses of  Brito Fernando and Prasanga Fernando, two of the activists behind the “Change with Reform” campaign.

Former diplomat Dr Dayan Jayatilleke chats with a man with a fake accent, revealing his ideas of a perfect nation:  Russia (a country that once recorded a 140% voter turnout) and China (a one-party state).

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Major telecommunication service providers sell out their customers to spam SMSes and recordings of Mahinda Rajapaksa and Maithreepala Sirisena asking for people’s votes. Some calls turn to threats.


In fine Sri Lankan tradition, people kill, stab, loot and otherwise inconvenience each other in the name of politics. 

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Polls conducted by the University of Kelaniya and Colombo lead to questions regarding the integrity of both Universites.


Namal Rajapaksa, lawyer of dubious qualification, Member of Parliament and the Rajapaksa clan’s Heir Apparent, denies misuse of public funds amidst photographic evidence. Meanwhile, Hirunika Premachandra discloses / hints at Namal’s true power within the regime.


False ballot papers, with the Common Candidate’s mark altered, are found in Chilaw.


 The nausea-inducing spate of ads on local newspapers disappears, as per the rules. However, the myriad of Facebook pages hijacked by Rajapakse advertising remain hijacked.


icons-bought2Popular media icons, bought over by the Rajapaksa regime’s advertising arm, back off after doing what they were paid to do. The most surprising acquisition is still Iraj, whose controversial rap lyrics have often seen the rapper’s videos banned from local TV stations. 


The Bodu Bala Sena, presently the country’s foremost terrorist force, vow support for President Rajapaksa.


In apparent desperation, the President suggests using the next generation to pay off today’s debts. 

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